It’s happened to me so many times, I’ll be in a meeting at work and have something important to add, and my voice starts speaking loudly in my head but for some reason, my mouth is held back by a more powerful restraining force. Or it happens in important conversations in my relationships, even those I’m extremely close to.
Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s self-judgment, maybe it’s lack of trust for the others in the conversation or because I don’t believe in my own truth enough. Whatever the case is, my throat gets tight, my tongue gets dry and I get silent. My screaming truth gets shut down and pushed away. Not only does it not help the room, but also creates havoc in my self. Now I have to deal with regrets, feeling unheard and whatever the results of not sharing my ideas that came from a place of adding value to the mission and the meeting.
At work, in relationships, in life; heated discussions or moments when your body is screaming a truth but your head hold is holding you back from speaking it, are huge opportunities to grow.
Breaking through the barriers of whatever holds us back from speaking, is a stepping stone to confidence and personal power. I’ve learned that the more often I step past that uncomfortable, self-judgement place of holding back, to the place where I trust my words, my thoughts, my input, the easier it becomes.
Trusting your own voice in the conversations of life is a skill to train. Training builds tenacity, strength, and endurance. The fact that it doesn’t always come naturally, doesn’t mean what you have to say is wrong or not important-it just means you need to build your “trust yourself” muscles.
Here’s the little mantra a repeat to myself to help me in those moments (tight throat, achy feeling in my heart, yearning desire to share):
“Go to BAT!” (Breathe, Align, Trust)
Breathe: Nothing clears the throat chakra like a deep breathe. When we stop breathing, we stop being. Take a long slow deep breathe to come back to the moment.
Align: Take a minute to remember you are here and you matter. Align with the fact that you’ve earned the place in this conversation, at this table and as a walking breathing being. I’ve even considered getting a tattoo on my wrist to remind myself to look down at in these moments, “You Matter”
Trust yourself: This is that absolute knowing that you stand behind your own words completely. That you’ve got your own back and that the things you are sharing matter to you, so they matter. Trusting yourself can be the most difficult step-we’re afraid of what others will think, we’re afraid we might be wrong, look foolish, mess up, fail. Learning to have your own back and know that you’ll be ok, no matter what because of that, is key to being able to show up completely.
I know it sounds cheesy, this whole “Go to BAT” concept, and you guessed it, I’ll bring in the baseball metaphor to drive it home — go to BAT, so you don’t strike out. 😏⚾️
Life’s too short to stay silent and it’s too hard on your body, mind, and soul to not speak up when you have something to share. These little tips have helped me start training, start trusting my truth and start believing that what I have to say matters.
Every time I do speak up, it opens up a whole new world of opportunity, growth, and connection.
Where do you find it most difficult to speak up, share your truth and trust the words sitting right behind your tongue? At work, in relationships, or? Please share in the comments, I’m always curious!
As originally posted on Medium